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Sure, let’s bet on MLS why not

Written by bathboyian

October 14, 2020

Ok, so I broke even last night since Josh Allen decided to crap the bed and only throw 2 TD passes. Remember, you should’ve placed 2 bets. One on Josh Allen throwing over 2.5 TD passes and one for him throwing over 1.5 TD passes. The second bet was to cover the first bet since 2 TDs is his floor (which is pretty damn good). If you were really fucking smart (which I am not) you also would’ve taken Tannehill at 1.5 TD or 2.5 TD passes. The man balled out last night. But whatever – the cover bet hit, so no harm no foul. That’s what it’s there for so we move on with no debt. Now let’s talk MLS BABY!

Let me preface this by saying… I DO NOT WATCH/FOLLOW MLS. But that doesn’t mean I can’t bet on it! Actually, it might even be an advantage so I don’t overthink things. Probably not, but that’s what I’m gonna tell myself. Either way, I will layout my research and you can decide if it’s BULLSHIT or not.

holy fuck there are alot of games tonight

Wow, look at all them chickens. There’s free money in there somewhere, just gotta sniff it out like a truffle-smelling hog. So first, since I don’t know jack shit about MLS, let’s look at the standings:

Ok, first off – what’s with the Eastern conference having 2 more teams than the Western conference? That’s a red flag, but I’m moving on. As you can easily tell from the standings, Toronto FC is 1st place in the Eastern conference. They play the NY Red Bulls tonight (who are currently ranked 7th in the same conference) and DraftKings has them -107 to win. -107? That’s practically even. Uhhh yes please. I’ll bet on the first place team beating the 7th place for even odds. Is there something I’m missing here? Probably.

too late, i placed the bet

Ok, let’s see what else we got… the Portland Timbers are tied for 1st in the Western Conference and they play Real Salt Lake ranked next to last. Surely the Timbers are heavily favored to win that game. WHAT? DraftKings has them at +180 underdogs?? Are they missing their best player or something? Turns out they tied last time they played… who cares, I’m taking them to win! Top ranked team versus 11th ranked team? And the top ranked team is listed as the underdog? You smell that hogs? FREE MONEY!

what does DK know that i don’t? probably alot

Ok – um, I think we’re good! I’m not trying to empty ALL of my sportsbooks account tonight so I’m going to end on that. Feel free to tail or fade those bets. But I feel 80% confidence that my 2 minutes of research will pan out. So LET’S GO… uhh, I already forgot the team, let me scroll up real quick… TORONTO FC! LET’S GO TIMBERS! I won’t watch these games.

Follow me on twitter @bathboyian

Featured image via MLS


  1. John

    Wrong on both

    • bathboyian

      excellent hindsight analysis


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