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I lost all my MLS bets last night

Written by bathboyian

October 15, 2020

Loss | MLS

See previous post for context. It was a typical Wednesday, not much going on. However, I was craving some degenerate gambling action and my eyes were fixed on all the MLS games being played that night. I did some extensive research (5 minutes of looking at the standings/matchups) and placed 2 bets on what I was SURE to be free money bets. First bet was on the first place Toronto FC (-107) and the other was on the Portland Timbers (+180) who were playing Real Salt Lake at the very bottom of the standings! Let’s see how things panned out:

fuck me #1
fuck me #2

Ok – first off, fuck ties. There should be a PK shootout for EVERY GAME in the MLS just like NHL. Ties are for pusspops and people who pick their own bellybutton and sniff. You can’t tie in the NBA, NHL, or MLB. So MLS needs to get with the program and ban ties! Also, while I’m on the tie tangent, NFL needs to ban them too. Nothing worse than watching 5 quarters of football for a cheese sandwich outcome. Dumb af.

Second, WHAT ARE YOU DOING PORTLAND? You were supposed to wipe the floor with Real Mormon. You are kings of the Western conference playing a bottom tiered team. GIMME YOUR CROWN FRAUDS! Next time, I’m putting my money on whoever is playing the last place LA Galaxy:

where’s zlatan and beckham when you need them?

Sheesh, the LA Galaxy are bad. Again, I don’t pay attention to MLS. But, they’re bad right? Gotta be. Ok, I’ll return to this fickle fucked up MLS betting arena in due time. Just need to lick my wounds and bet against the LA Galaxy next time!

Featured image via MLS, edited by yours truly.

Follow me on Twitter: @bathboyian

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