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The Art of the Tank: The Quest for Trevor Lawrence

Written by Larry Von Feitzel

October 22, 2020


I have lost all my faith in the Vikings this year.  That loss to Atlanta was absolutely embarrassing.  I don’t care if Dalvin is out, they are complete garbage.  They have no defense. They fired their coach 5 weeks in.  THEY STINK! AND WE LOSE TO THEM? I had been hoping the defense would eventually figure things out. Maybe we’d come second in the division and compete for the new playoff spot.  This team is still super talented on offense right? Gas Running Backs, Elite WRs, Top Tier TEs, Kirk isn’t the worst but he still has room to grow in the new Kubiak offense, right?.  WRONG! Kirk Cousins has played absolutely terrible this year and he’s got to go. 

Other holes not pictured: Cameron Smith, Trae Waynes, Linval Joseph, Mackenzie Alexander

A Defense in Shambles: Listen folks, the defense had no chance of being good this year.  The Vikings lost Rhodes, Waynes, and Alexander in the secondary.  These guys were well integrated into the Zimmer defense. With the changes to the passing game the NFL makes, each year having lock down corners become more and more important. Its starting to show up with the Vikings. With no offseason (thank you rona) no wonder Holton “horrendous” Hill and a bunch of rookies aren’t ready. The bright side is the old guys weren’t that good to begin with:  Rhodes was past his prime, Waynes had always been bad, and Alexander didn’t seem to develop.  The Linebacking core also took a major hit this year first with Cameron Smith needing heart surgery (I hate rona) and then with Anthony Barr tearing his Pectoral.  And worst of all, the defensive line has been completely depleted;  with Linval Joseph and Everson Griffen leaving, Michael Pierce opting out (rona again), and Danielle Hunternow confirmed to be out for the year, I hate 2020 having who knows what? This defense has stood no chance with all these holes to fill.  Like God Damn Swiss Cheese!

The Triple C of the NFL

Curt “Cut-him” Cousins: Ok Curt Cousins ain’t the guy.  I know we all knew this when we gave him 84 MILLION DOLLARS, and again when we gave him another 66 MILLION DOLLARS, but we won a playoff game with him. It wasn’t that crazy right? Kinda.  We needed to extend him to make room for Anthony Harris.  While he hasn’t played up to par of last year, Harris has still played decent, and some of that can be blamed on the rest of the secondary.  But regardless, Kirk Cousins has got to go.  He is absolutely terrible against team that can rush the passer. When he has time he’s not bad, but he’s useless when he doesn’t.  Our line could use some work to be fair, but we have limited options there.  Kirk could also improve if Ezra Cleveland ever plays, he could prove to pan out, but besides that the line needs to be what it is.  If we want Dalvin Cook to be our feature back he needs to have a fast offensive line.  That is what we have, quick, mobile, run blocking linemen.  Problem is, they usually stink at pass protecting.  Ours definitely do.  So what’s the solution here?

Disclaimer: Sorry China, please don’t sensor me.

TANK TANK TANK: With the a cursed defense and Cap Hit Cousins, the only answer is the draft.  We need a complete stud at Quarterback if this team wants to go to the Super Bowl and next year when everyone is healthy and experienced we can.  The Defense will be insane.  Dantzler can has potential to cover the big receivers , Hughes was an interception machine before his acl injury, and if Gladney can figure things out Zimmer will finally have his elite corner unit to pair with the one of the best safety duos.  The Linebacking Core will be back in peak form when Barr and Smith join Kendricks in the lineup (or Smith could compete with Wilson, Iron sharpens Iron).  The D line will be better than ever with Ngakoue he just got traded so the tank is on, 3rd and 5th should be a good replacement and Hunter getting after the Quarterback and Pierce owning the inside.  And don’t forget about Odenigbo and Stephen coming off the bench. So Vikings, PLEASE TANK! We need an early pick if we want to get someone who can be the guy!I have faith in the defensive retooling, it just might take some time.  But what is ready to go is the offense.  Dalvin is a beast, and the receiving core of Theilen, Jefferson, Rudolph, and Smith Jr. can run with anyone.  All we need is a mobile QB that can get them the ball, and the Vikings are shooting to the top of the NFC. 

This is the opportune year to do it.  Normally the Vikings are just good enough to be out of reach to get a top QB, but this year we stink.  As a Gamecocks fan I hate Trevor Lawrence, but we keep playing like this, we got a shot at him this year.  Problem is: The Jags. They are the one of the other 5+ loss team that we play and will probably try to beat. They have a boat load of picks and if the Vikings start winning games for some reason we might be forced to take a less proven guy. The Jets, Re – Football Team, Giants, and Falcons are in the mix as well so a lot of QBs could be taken early in the next daft. We might be looking at a guy like Zach Wilson out of BYU. BYU is 5-0 and he’s got pretty good stats this year, but they’re schedule is suspect. Also, the Jets might want to move off of Darnold. If they want to stink really bad this year, they might be looking take a terrible QB that has a giant contract and rhymes with dozens. Regardless we need to tank this year.  If not, what are we doing here?


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