Tonight we got the Atlanta Falcons (+2) vs the Carolina Panthers in a lovely TNF toilet bowl matchup. But I’m not here to talk about picks for the game, our boy John Champa already did that. I’m here to talk about how RUTHLESS DraftKings is with their one of their boosted offerings for tonight’s game. They shared this picture on their official Instagram and Twitter:
I mean, did you need another reason to hate being a Falcons fan? Let’s take a trip down memory lane for a sec shall we? The Falcons lost in Week 2 to the Dallas Cowboys in what could only be described as another historical loss for the franchise *COUGH COUGH 28-3*. So the Falcons were winning 39-24 with 6 minutes left in the 4th quarter and totally choked their way to a loss after the Cowboys scored twice, recovered an onside kick, and then kicked a field goal with no time remaining. Dallas literally had the lead for ZERO seconds the entire game and won. Here’s an INSANE stat from that game.
The Falcons had 39 points with zero turnovers in their loss against the Cowboys.â€” ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 20, 2020
Entering today, teams were 440-0 when scoring 39 points with 0 turnovers since 1933, when team turnovers were first tracked, according to Elias. pic.twitter.com/LZdqzwQZyD
Damn, that must be the worst of it right? WRONG. Week 3 – the Falcons were up 26-10 vs the Chicago Bears in the 4th quarter and lost 30-26. That was the Big Dick Nick game who replaced a benched Mitchell Trubisky. Nick Foles can thank the Falcons for his starting job. If it weren’t for that comeback, his massive python of a penis would still be slithering around the Bears bench doing magic tricks or something (I wouldn’t know what big penises do with their spare time).
Last but not least in this Shakespearean tragedy, we have the Week 7 matchup vs the Detroit Lions. The Falcons did their best work yet in this game. They lost by scoring a touchdown. Yes, you read that right. With 1 minute left, the Falcons had the ball in the red zone. They were down 14-16, but with the Lions out of timeouts, all the Falcons had to do was milk out the clock and kick a chip-in field goal for the win. Well, Todd Gurley had other plans (I’m actually thankful he did because I started him in fantasy) and scored a touchdown on 1st and Goal. This gave the ball back to Matthew Stafford and the Lions, who had an incredible last minute drive that resulted in a T.J. Hockenson touchdown with ZERO seconds left. I actually had the Lions ML in this game. Big brain baby!
I kinda went down a Falcons poop parade rabbit hole, I can’t even remember the purpose of writing this article. Oh yeah, DraftKings offering a boosted bet on the Falcons blowing a 4th quarter lead tonight vs the Panthers. I actually can’t find it on the app. But the official sportsbook account tweeted it, so I feel like that’s a legally binding contract. If you can find it, TAKE IT! It’s free money. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the Falcons are actually cursed. They’re inventing new and exciting ways to lose every week. It’s must watch television. And if you’re a Falcons fan, keep your chin up for the guillotine.
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