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9 Game Parlay for Week 9

Written by bathboyian

November 5, 2020

NFL

I don’t normally bet massive leg parlays because I think they are for suckers. Like lottery tickets, they have an impossibly small chance to hit but lure simple minded bettors in with huge fantasy payouts. Of course, someone wins once in a blue moon… just like the fucking lottery. But how many ridiculous long shot parlays are lost just for one to win? What’s the ratio?? My team of statisticians have reported back that it’s a 0.00069% win rate. So there you go, in my humble but correct opinion, you are lighting your money on fire. You will never win a 10 game parlay Andrew!

live look at Andy placing his 10 game parlay every week

You might be wondering, “Ok, good points. Well why are you doing a ridiculous 9 game parlay then?” Great question asshole, I was just getting to that! This 9 game parlay is a secret sauce of alternate spreads that is so guaranteed to win, I’m betting my first born son on it. And even though he’s doesn’t exist yet, he’s going to be a D1 athlete that gets a full ride to Stanford. While at Stanford, he stumbles upon a group of computer engineer nerds after a lecture one day. They team up and make the greatest VR game of all time, VR Sports, where it’s basically Wii Sports but it’s VR so it’s better. It’s actually so realistic that everyone cares more about the VR world than the real world. Pretty soon, Roger Goodell (yes, he’s alive and still commissioner) moves the entire NFL into the VR space for safety of its players. NBA, MLB, and NHL follow suit. Once all of the major sports leagues are playing their seasons inside VR Sports, my son becomes a billionaire. Actually, trillionaire, because of inflation. And since he built the game and played it more than anybody, he becomes a professional 4 sport athlete. He then goes on to win the SuperBowl, Stanley Cup, and World Series. He makes it to the NBA Finals 5 times but never wins a ring. He just doesn’t have a good team around him. So yeah, this parlay is pretty much a lock, or else I wouldn’t be playing such high stakes with my fictional son’s life! Here are the picks.

Like I said, this parlay is a golden recipe of heavy favorites and alt spreads to create the perfect +885 concoction. For my son’s sake, I hope this hits. Side note, I’m so pumped for VR Sports to come out.

Follow me on Twitter: @bathboyian

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