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Top Chef: Thursday Night Football Edition – Week 11

Written by bathboyian

November 19, 2020

GREAT MATCHUP: We’ve got the Cardinals (+2.5) vs the Seahawks tonight and let me tell you this is going to be a FUN game to watch. Probably the best TNF game we’ve had so far this season. And then we have Ravens vs Steelers next Thursday night on Thanksgiving! What a beautiful back to back TNF schedule! Long gone are the days of shitty TNF matchups. Remember the Jaguars vs Dolphins game back in like Week 3? BARF! The Broncos vs the Jets in Week 4? DOUBLE BARF! The Giants vs Eagles in Week 7?? Actually that was kind of fun to watch because they were both SO BAD. Either way, it’s smooth sailing ahead for Thursday Night Football… at least for the next two weeks. Let’s take a look at the two head chefs playing tonight, both of whom are eye fucking that League MVP trophy (alas she belongs to another).

Anyone can cook, except Carson Wentz

RACE FOR 2ND PLACE: Since the 2020 season began, Russell Wilson has been the leading candidate for the MVP. But Chef Russ has been burning shit in the kitchen lately. In other words, his STONK is going down. On the other hand, Kyler Murray has been sneaking into the kitchen at night, making friends with a gifted rat, learning culinary recipes, and starting to trend upwards. He’s doing his best Lamar Jackson impression and starting to put up MVP level stats in the air AND on the ground this season. He’s currently on pace for 4.2k passing yards, 1k rushing yards, and 48 total TDs. However, as we all know, this is a race for second place. Because Patrick Mahomes doesn’t care about cooking. He eats ketchup sandwiches like a fucking psycho and just goes out to win every week. Most likely, Kyler will plateau and Mahomes will win the MVP again this year, making him a winner in 2 of his last 3 starting seasons. What a freak. But enough about the race, let’s wade our way through the betting shit and find that gem of a lock.

Look how big that Mahomes sperm is… we’re gonna need a bigger egg!

SPREAD EM: As of right now, the Seahawks are (-2.5) favorites, but I expect that line to move towards the Cardinals later today. The Cardinals are coming off a MIRACULOUS win against the Bills and the Seahawks are coming off a stinky loss against the LA KINGS OF FRAUDLAND. It’s in Seattle, but the 12th man will be at home drinking Starbucks and listening to Nirvana or whatever the fuck people from Seattle do. So the crowd will NOT be a factor. Not to mention the Seahawks D is ATROCIOUS! Kyler, Hopkins, and Kirk are gonna eat them alive. Hammer the Cardinals (+2.5).

FLY ME TO THE MOON: The total tonight (56.5) is lower than expected. I honestly would’ve guessed it to be in the 60s considering both of these teams have explosive offenses and the Seahawks Defense is about as useful at guarding people as the NY prison guards were with Jeffrey Epstein. Hammer the over!

PROPS TO THE CARDINALS: I love the Cardinals total TDs prop for this game (Over 3.5) at +140. Do I need to talk about the Seahawks Defense again? They’re poop! It’s easy money (not free money). Hammer the over!

Odds via DraftKings

Well there you have it, go forth and bet! Don’t yell at me when none of these hit.

Featured image by Abbie Parr/Getty Images via CBS Sports

Follow me on twitter: @bathboyian

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